A letter from an acquantance who is in the know

An acquaintance who has been flirting with the birther movement writes:

“After Obama’s declaration of support for so-called ‘gay marriage,’ all the evidence has clearly fallen into place, and I am now absolutely convinced that Obama was born in Kenya. Not only that, we in the movement are certain that the man known as Barack Obama was born a female named ‘Barbara.’

“This is what happened, and in the movement we know this for a fact. Her Kenyan father and American mother brought the infant Barbara Obama to the United States from Kenya right after she was born, and they settled in Hawaii The father was disappointed at having a female child and was determined to have a son. Barbara’s mother, however, was incapable of having any more children, so the father decided to have his daughter’s sex changed. As a Kenyan, his decisions were law in that household. All this has been documented by Barbara’s grandmother, the mother of Barbara’s father, whose diary, with the Kenyan birth certificate tucked between the pages, was recently found in a hut in the village in which she had lived. All this is widely known among the birthers. I am told on the best authority, also that the documentation is in the hands of John Boehner and Eric Cantor, who plan to release it at just the right moment.

“But to continue this curious story, once in Hawaii, the parents contracted with a renowned sex change surgeon who practiced in Hawaii  to perform the operation. On the day of the surgery, they took to the child to him, and the surgeon began his work. My source--a well-known figure in the birther movement--tells me that the surgeon reworked the infant’s private parts into a penis and a scrotum. Unfortunately, however, the parents of the male infant whose tiny testicles were to be transplanted into the new scrotum of Barbara/Barack reneged on their agreement to provide their child’s testicles. As a result, the surgeon simply sewed up the empty scrotum. (To of us in the movement, of course, that explains Obama’s lack of cojones).

“Nevertheless, at the father’s insistence and, I’m told, for an additional fee, the surgeon completed a Hawaii birth certificate for ‘Barack’ Obama, a male child, and recorded that he was born in Hawaii. All of that is well known among those in the know, Unfortunately, the surgeon mysteriously disappeared almost immediately after Obama’s bogus inauguration. Coincidence? I think not.

“What has that to do with Obama’s support for marriage between homosexuals? Everything. Without testicles, you see, Obama is still technically a woman, and she is ‘married’ to Michelle, another woman. That is clearly a homosexual relationship that he would like to have recognized by another ‘marriage’ to her.

 “It is all so clear now, isn't it.”