The Fertile Palins

Talking about Sarah Palin, someone asked this week, "Have you seen the names she saddled those kids with?"

Well, yes. But the McCain Campaign, which does most of her public talking for her, reports that Sarah and Chad used a certain logic when they named them. The McCain campaign has reported that the children were named for places or situations related to their conception. It occurs to me, that it was in these situations that children came to be:

Track: Sarah reacted Todd on the track around the Wasilla high school football field, and when she caught him, they made love on the cinders and conceived Track.

Bristol: The couple were under the influence of a few nips of Bristol Cream Sherry following a moose hunt.

Piper: She was named after the plane in which Sarah and Todd flew united after being aroused by shooting grizzly bears from the air.

Willow: The two had just come down from a willow tree from which they were shooting at Sarah's brother-in-law or, as they told it, looking at Russia in order to gain foreign policy experience.

Trig: Sarah and Chad had exchanged sines and cosines one evening while helping Track with his math homework and became so excited that they went off on a passionate tangent. [Or, if you believe those horrible liberal commie pinkos in the Obama campaign, Bristol and Levi conceived him while they were studying math together. The McCain campaign argues that that does not add up.]